Shameful encounter

So i'm back from work, instead of going straight to bed, i make breakfast and watch psych. When that's done, i start to surf aimlessly and somehow i check chase's website. I see 2 charges for $12.71 from target. Without thinking further, i say to myself "i've been charged twice for the crockpot and mixer." So I leap out of bed and drive straight to target. Mind you it's almost 11am.

I get to target and tell the poor young fellow i've been charged twice. He talks to someone over the phone but the person tells him he can't find the transaction. I tell the fellow i also want to exchange the slow cooker since the bottom is scratched. I keep waiting, grab the new cooker, come back and keep waiting.

So i get impatient, very impatient. And start telling the guy it would take 30seconds to clear this up with chase instead of waiting hours. Then i ask if the person we're waiting for is coming. No response. Then i start pacing, impatiently. Then i tell the guy, to just do the exchange i'll go through chase. At this point i'm irrate because i've been waiting for forever and talking loudly, not loud as in yelling but... Anyway, i still wait and i'm more irrate because the guy seems to be doing other stuff and i feel like i'm being ignored. So he tells me i bought i curling iron and i go "i didn't buy a curling iron! Can you pull the receipts instead of having me stand here. i have slept since yesterday." Not in that exact order but i did say those things at different points.

For a second, I pause to think and ask myself, did i purchase anything else from target besides the pantene for $4 and the black friday deal? It starts to dawn on me that i may have purchased the kinky curly that day. To avoid disgrace,i tell the poor fella to check the cooker out and that i'll leave right away, i can't wait any longer. Guy ignores me still, goes about his business while i stand and wait. Then when the person finally shows up, he's pulled the receipts and tells me the two $12.71 charges aren't for the same thing. Lo and behold, i did buy the kinky curler knot today that same afternoon and i believe i paid $11.99 for it which also adds to $12.71 with tax, just like the crockpot and mixer. To conceal my embarassment,which i didn't show, i just kept on acting angry, got the exchange for the cooker and stormed off.

Shame on me! I kept saying to myself how much shame i feel and how guilty i feel for my awful, awful, disgusting behavior. I totally regret the behavior and if there's anything beyond shame, it's exactly what i feel. I made someone's workday misreable as a result of my stupid ignorance and impatience. I did not take a second to think when i saw the transaction online. All i did was jump out of bed and head out. And then i went to the store and prolly made the poor fellow feel bad although as i type right now, i feel like he has my attitude of tuning out whinny patients because he didn't seem to care that much and only seemed to not wait to get rid of me.

Nevertheless, a little patience would have benefited me. Taking a 2nd look would have saved me the gas, time and energy of driving to the store as well as the shame. A nicer attitude and i would've been a pleasant person to deal with and while my impatience could be due to the fact that i wanted to run there and run back quickly to sleep, maybe i shouldn't do stuff like this on no sleep, just so i don't appear rude. I kept apologizing to God all the way home and was appalled at my shamelessness. Had i been pleasant and calm, i could've easily admitted my fault and apologized. I've seen people do that when they laugh and say "my bad, i thought it was such and such..."

Lesson learned is be pleasant always even if you think those you're dealing with have wronged you and you are in the right. Be patient with others and be considerate of others. Lord i've been in situations where i feel patients/+ their families were impatient or inconsiderate and i found that very hard, stressful and just annoying to deal with. And here i am being an awful customer. Yes, the guy may have taken forever, the poor fellow was prolly ignoring me to deal with me but that didn't mean i had to act all annoying and irrate.

Lord, please help me to be pleasant and patient always when dealing with my fellow humans. And please forgive me and i hope the poor fellow finds it in his heart to forgive me. That said, it's gonna take me a while to set foot in this target. I know the last time i went there was over a year ago and after this annoying behavior that even i wouldn't put up with, Christe eleison.