making judgements

So, a coworker whose worse than a GUNNER (in terms of behavior) tells me i'm going to page this doctor now. She was all hyped up and stuff after i told her the guy said to call if the patient wants benadryl because they weren't going to put in a prn order. anyway, she goes on making a big deal to the orientee about how stupid it is and all that. (Sometimes, i look at some nurses and just laugh in my head. I'm not sure how this girl thought her years as an LPN and whatever many months she spent at community college getting her associates equates to 4 years of med school and 4 years of resdiency)

Anyway, she calls the general team and they tell her to call the person covering. So i see the doc walking towards us and i said that's him coming. She turns and immediately turns towards the walk and go "oooo he's good looking." I thought, what happened to "i'm going to bug this person all day till he writes that benadryl order."

Anyway, i walk away,and when i walk back, i think the orientee realized i didn't tell them the patient was diabetic (ommission on my part but it's on the kardex and it's also in the emar so before she admister her meds, she'll realize that she needs a fingerstick). Anyway, in an effort to explain my oversight to her orientee, she tells her the fact that english isn't my first language impairs my ...... do i need to say more. I just like how some Americans judge intelligence by whether english is your first language or not. A friend in college once said to me "i can imagine how hard it must be for you learning this stuff because english isn't your first language so i can't imagine you translating this first into your language and trying to understand what it means." She always used to tell me let me help you study, let me help you study. Well, She was angry with me after graduation, didn't care till last year when she told me why she was angry. According to her, i made everyone think i was struggling when in fact i was making straight As. First of all, i have a policy of not telling people my grades because i think it's none of their business. Second, i worked all the time in college and i thought me complaining about not having time to study was the reason why she kept saying let me help you study. I mean that evening when she said she couldn't imaging how hard it is for me studying the stuff, i smiled at her and brushed it off as an ignorant remark. So i told her the fact that i didn't tell her my grades doesn't me she has to think of me as a stupid person.
I actually liked how i walked away with all those awards from school and wasn't on anyones radar. An American see you answering all the questions in class and still think you're stupid and struggling because english isn't your first language. An african sees me sitting quietly in class and even without saying a word, they call me a 'shark'. Of course, Jill is one american who looked at me sitting quietly in biochem when Dr R said the highest score was a 100 and she turned to me and said "i bet you had that 100". Again, i looked at her and smiled.

I don't mind when someone thinks i'm stupid. In fact it's easier for me because people who see the real me feel intimidated.

random babble

Speaking of CBT money, I think i may have used that to talk to someone in ghana. I just realized the amount of money i've spent talking to this person is more than i needed for that juicy couture sunglasses i wanted or even the Dsquared ones so i'm gonna have to cut those calls. In reality, i don't think i've spent that money to talk to that person. The money i've spent is unnecessary expense i've incurred.

What set reality in is the email i got from my sister. March 5th was the response date so i guess it's been a while. Anyway, i've decided to focus on real life. My life is complicated and i'm starting to feel like i cope by acting like an ostrich with it's head in the sand. I need to get my head straight. The question is can i face reality?!

CBT money.

Since i got TBR CBTs for free, i decided to move the money out of my checking. Lest it sits there and i spend it. Was going to add all of it to my emergency fund but i decided to split it 50-50 between that and AMCAS. My original plan was to mail in my check first week of march once i got the money and then when i realized it was TPW, i decided to wait till next monday. In the chance that i win, i'd pocket the money and if i didn't win, i'd send it in then in time for me to have access by april. God was gracious to me and answered my bathroom prayer in advance.

To God be the Glory

The difference

Last year, i had a hard time doing the acid base and buffers/titrations chapter in gen chem. in fact i did soo poorly that this year, i dreaded doing those 2 chapters. i did the acid and bases and did good so i remembered i had even worse problems with the buffers chapter.

Suprisingly, i did better in the titrations chapter this year. i got a perfect score,and the remaining questions i got wrong were either wrongful calculations, writing down a different answer than i'd intended and illogical reasoning such as knowing very well that the passage states something about the question and yet failing to select that as an answer or not translating stuff (data) from the passage right. Errors in deductive reasoning were also evident especially for answers i've no evidence for. Overall, i do have an actual understanding of the material. And for silly mistakes, i do try to see what i did wrong. I tried to go through my chemistry textbook but i think TBR covers the material in more detail and better.

Overall, i've realized i have an understanding of the stuff i read and i thank God for that. Maybe he's using myreadinglab to help with my comprehension overall.

Anyway, i'm still excited about TBR CBTs i got yesterday. I just can't stop saying "Thank you God." It really was a nice thing to wake up to after that crazy night at work. To God be the all the glory now and the glory that's coming.

O my dear sweet Jesus!

OMG! OMG!!OMG!!!! I'm overwhelmed and at a loss for words!!!! Thank you Jesus

I had to post this as my current facebook status after seeing that i got TBR CBTs free even before TPW is over. Oh, it's not the 7 CBTs that costs $200. It's the 9 that you get from the course. Yesterday, i my facebook status was "Please Lord, let me win again in this years TPW drawings and i promise to claim my prize on time. Amen"

Talk about God exceeding my expectations. I can't just just stop saying oh my God. I'm soo excited i'm really at a loss for words. I had a little tear come up in my eyes.

I'd like to say a big thank you to BerkReviewTeach on SDN. And by the sweet grace of God i'm rocking this exam in a way no one has ever done.

My reading lab just got annoying

I completed a practice test, scored a 100% and when i come back, i'm prevented from taking the test. I've been doing the test first lately and i regret not completing the test first. I actually did the practice first because the last time the question i got wrong on the test, the answer was in the first practice set i took when i came back so i figured even if i get 3 questions wrong in the practice, i'll just hit the pause button, take the test in that case, the low score doesn't prevent me from taking the test except this time, i had all the practice questions right and the test button is disabled.

Right now, it's equally frustrating and annoying. At this point, i wouldn't suggest using it for the mcat. The frustration just isn't worth it. I don't even feel like working with it again. Once again, i have a module that's not check off and this time, it's NOT because i flunked the practice. The worst part is that i need this particular module checked off. The other module that didn't get checked off, i didn't care because i passed it in the diagnostic. This one here i didn't and i can't complete the darn thing!!!

It's a good program but unless you're using it with an instructor, i wouldn't recommend. There are way too many bugs and kinks in the independent course.

if you study, it will come

I've been working hard since friday. Part of me regrets doing nothing wednesday and thursday.

Anyway, I completed 3 chapters yesterday (would like to say today but it's midnight now). i did bio 2-4 today. I got 2 reds for 2 and 3 and all greens for chapter 4. i color code my scores. I'm really excited. 92.5% on phase 2 of bio 4. i did poorly in the phase 1 which is why i completed one extra passage to make my average for that phase not look too bad.
Anyway, i'm happy.

One wierd, but great, thing about microsoft excel: In the general sciences workbook, i usually write the phase name, the raw score and percentage and highlight with a color. Earlier today when i entered the first 2 scores, it automatically highlighted yellow and i thought it was because the cells above those 2 were highlighted yellow. When i entered the last score tonight, it automatically highlighted the light green color which isn't a regular color (custom one actually). i'm a little surprised at how it picked up the trend because i just don't enter numbers, i actually enter phrases followed by the number(score) and percentage. it's wierd it picked up the trend but i'm loving it. I just hope it realizes that any score below 60% merits a red. so far it recognizes the yellows and green.

Anyway, this is the best day i've had in terms of studying. i completed myreading lab, read a few online pages about logic ( i really need to read the Gensler book), went to the gym, watched ncis LA, surfed the net, cooked, AND reread 3 chapters in TBR and completed the required questions. SUPER!!!